Driving Miss D.J.
Driving Miss D.J. is episode twenty in season five of Full House. It originally aired on February 25, 1992. Opening Teaser See Quotes. Synopsis D.J. now has her learner's permit, and she is eager to learn how to drive. When Danny tries to teach D.J. how to drive, he makes her even more nervous than she already is with the way he gives instructions, and by being overprotective. She turns on the radio to a rock station, but he turns it off. It soon becomes clear that he is being excessively cautious about her learning how to drive, and she tells him so. But he says that she is being too emotional. He tells her they need to switch places, but she just goes to the back seat to sulk and they head home. Meanwhile, Becky prepares to take the twins' first portraits, Jesse has them dressed in doo rags – like himself. She goes along with it, but when Danny and D.J. come home arguing and Jesse leaves to be the peacemaker, it is her chance to ditch the rags. Elsewhere, with Michelle bugging her constantly when she has friends over, Stephanie starts to feel exactly the same irritation that D.J. felt when she and D.J. were roommates, and as a result, she resorts to drastic measures; though unlike D.J., Stephanie has no rules regarding Michelle touching her stuff or even if and when she can be on Stephanie's side of the room; though like always, the one rule is that whenever Stephanie's around Michelle, she is the older sister, and thus, "the boss". Through the use of the "Hairy Scary Monster", which Stephanie had threatened to summon by saying his name three times if Michelle did not stop bugging her, Joey helps Michelle realize that she must stop annoying Stephanie whenever she has friends over and has to go somewhere else to play (see Quotes). Out on the road, as Jesse tries to teach D.J. with his Mustang, he tells her to "feel the vibrations", but she feels them a little too much and accidentally puts a scratch on the side (see Quotes), and apologizes to him for the damage. Back home, Danny is watching a movie on TV that involves cars being driven recklessly fast, which is not what he really wants to see right now and shuts off the TV. When the guys finally realize how helpless they are making D.J. feel by complicating her efforts to learn how to drive, they finally find the strength to let go and help D.J. do her learning in peace. Kimmy comes by, telling D.J. that she took the learner's permit test and passed it – by reading the manual and doing what it says. Danny insists the way he teaches is to protect her, but he wants her to understand there are bad drivers out there. She asks him if she should ride a bike or a horse for the rest of her life, and insists he let go. Jesse also feels the same way, and they decide to take turns teaching her: Danny promising not to be so tense, and Jesse promising not to be so laid back. Now, Danny and Jesse are in Danny's car with D.J. She is in the driver's seat, with Danny in the front and Jesse in the back center. The guys begin to argue over how she should drive, but then she sounds like the parent by warning them that if they do not stop arguing, she will turn the car around and head home. Danny apologizes, and she finally starts to drive on an actual road (as the inspirational music plays). When she asks if she can turn on the radio, this time they both say "no". And, they ride off (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear). Quotes opening: Joey: his room, putting a shoe on Okey-dokey. around Now, where did I put that other shoe? on the floor to look under his bed Michelle: and sees Mr. Woodchuck propped up Hi, Mr. Woodchuck. I wish you were real. down behind the bed, Joey throws his voice. Mr. Woodchuck: I am real. Michelle: Who said that? Mr. Woodchuck: I'' did. '''Michelle': You can't talk without Joey. Mr. Woodchuck: Did you ever think he can't talk without me? Michelle: on the bed to the other side and pulls back the comforter Hello, Joe. Mr. Woodchuck: Pay no attention to that man under the bed (a la The Wizard of Oz) he head back under. Michelle: him again Joey, you're busted. Joey: Okay, so it wasn't Mr. Woodchuck talking it was actually me. Michelle: Duh. Joey: Duh. ---- [Jesse and Becky are humming the theme song as they bounce each twin on their knee.] Jesse: stop. in the style of an movie character: Alright, now remember cowkids, it's a very important code of the West: Always keep your saddles dry now, ya hear? ---- stressed Danny returns from the DMV. Danny: sighs Hey, Jess. Jesse: Hey, how'd it go? Did D.J. get her learner's permit? Danny: It was a nightmare. Jesse: She flunked? Danny: Worse... an excited D.J. runs in, with her not-so-excited best friend following. D.J.: I passed! Jesse: pleased Alright, Deej! runs over and kisses her. Kimmy: annoyed I failed! I don't get it. I copied every one of D.J.'s answers and I still flunked the test. Jesse: Kimmy, they give everyone different tests so no one can cheat. Kimmy: They do? Jesse: Uh-huh. Kimmy: That's what's wrong with the world today; no one trusts anyone. Bye. D.J.: Bye. ---- and her friend Rita are playing with a when Michelle enters the bedroom with the tape player and microphone. Michelle: I wrote a song about a duck and a pig. singing: 'Oh, Mr. Duck. Oh, Mr. Pig. Quack, quack, quack, quack, oink, oink...' Stephanie: Michelle, would you please leave us alone?! Rita and I are busy telling fortunes, okay? Michelle: Tell mine! Tell mine! Stephanie: she ushers her sister out of their room Okay. In the very near future, you'll be singing a song about a duck and a pig out in the hall! slams the door shut. Rita: That was easy. Stephanie: Too easy. She'll be back. Michelle: again I'm back! Stephanie: Michelle...! ... as soon as her sister starts up again, she decides... That's enough! the recorder's stop button If you don't get out right now... I'm gonna call the Hairy Scary Monster. Michelle: Oh, puh-''lease''! Stephanie: All I have to do is say his name three times. sing-song: Oh, Hairy Scary Monster. That's one. Michelle: Is he nice like the ? Stephanie: Are you kidding? He scares the Cookie Monster. Because he's the Hairy Scary Monster. That's two. Michelle: Uh-oh. Next comes three! Stephanie: It sure does. Hairy... Scary... Michelle: her worriedly Don't say it! she runs out. ---- Danny: the phone Uh, yeah, Governor Wilson's office. Yes, hi. Danny Tanner here, concerned citizen. Yeah, I was just wondering: Is there any way we can raise the driving age to 35? ---- her bed, Stephanie and Rita are reading a magazine when Michelle interrupts them. Michelle: Guess what? I'm a cheerleader. Stephanie: Not now, Michelle. Michelle: pom poms Gimme an A. Gimme a B. Gimme a C... Stephanie: Gimme an O-U-T! motions Out! Out! Waaaaay out! Michelle: the pom-poms down and sits down This is my room, too. ---- summons the Hairy Scary Monster in an attempt to get Michelle out of the room. When the monster (Joey) appears, Stephanie screams and runs under Michelle's bed and Rita runs into the closet. Michelle: smiling Thank you, Joey. Joey: his Wolfman mask You're very welcome, Michelle. high-five each other. Stephanie: from under the bed Joey, we knew it was you all along. Right, Rita? Rita: folding her arms as she emerges from the closet Heck, no! Joey: sternly Okay. Now, look. You guys are all even now, okay? So, let's call a little truce. Steph, no more scaring Michelle. Michelle, when Stephanie's in here with her friends, you gotta give her some space (a lesson learned by Stephanie herself in "Take My Sister, Please"). Deal? The roommates: Deal. shake hands. Joey: Here her the mask, put this on, Michelle, and let's all howl on it. on her head. Ready? All: Oww-ooooo! ---- a park, a couple of cyclists ride by as the camera pans down to show Jesse and D.J. inside of "Mustang Sally" (shown in infobox photo). D.J.: Wow! I never thought I'd be driving your Mustang. Jesse: I like the color of Sally. "Mustang Sally". You know, there's only 1,100 of these in the whole country, but mine is the only one with a complete set of Elvis lugnuts. ---- Jesse: D.J. scratches Mustang Sally It's just a car. It's just a car. closer at the scratches and starts to get emotional It's just a ca-ca-ca... D.J.: I am so sorry! I feel terrible! I promise I'll do better tomorrow. ---- [Danny is watching a movie with a car chase, and the sight of that worries him about the possibility of what'll happen to his oldest daughter if she ever gets behind the wheel.] Danny: the TV off Why am I watching this? ---- Danny's car, D.J. and Danny are in the front seat and Jesse is in the back. Jesse: Deej, whatever you do, don't use the 'feel it' method. Just pull out and take it nice and easy. Danny: Yeah, but not too easy. You have to drive defensively. Jesse: Yeah, but you don't wanna be too uptight. Danny: You calling me uptight? Jesse: Uptight, paranoid, whatever. Danny: Oh, I'm paranoid? I care about my daughter. Jesse: I realize that, but you're a little... D.J.: Hey! If you boys don't behave, I will turn this car right around and go straight home. Danny & Jesse: Sorry. D.J.: Okay. Signal. Check my mirrors. Look over my shoulder to a wide shot and pull out into traffic for the very first time. ... I'm really driving. I love it! Jesse: She's pretty good, huh, Danny? Danny: Yeah, I'm actually feeling good about this. D.J.: Can I turn on the radio? Danny & Jesse: No! Trivia * The episode title is a take on the title of the 1989 Oscar-winning film * Jesse named his Mustang "Sally" after the 1966 hit " " * D.J. mentioning if she should ride a horse the rest of her life was likely a reference to "D.J.'s Very First Horse" (2.4) * Joey scares Stephanie as part of teaching her a lesson by wearing a rubber mask and gloves of the Wolfman, a movie monster that scared Stephanie back in "Baby Love" (2.16) Category:Season 5 Category:Episodes Category:Trivia